New Scooter Fun Times

Recently, our 90-something Chevy Lumina had its tires slashed. It was nothing personal, just someone with a horrible sense of humor decided to slash the tires on every car parked on a quiet residential street near 82nd. Nonetheless, it amounted to 2 flat tires and only 1 spare.

So it sat, sad and alone, in our driveway for a week or so - until Boyfriend had the time to get the tires replaced. No sooner did he do so, than the battery died. As did the starter (double-punch!).

And again, it sits, sad and alone in our driveway. We've decided to donate it, most likely to the Oregon Humane Society, and instead get a couple of scooters!

We decided on this course of action for a number of reasons:

-Cars are expensive gas-hogs
-I feel like a douche driving the car for a distance less than 5 miles
-We are too lazy to ride bikes for distances over 2 miles (especially when cold and/or rainy)
-Also, we like animals and tax deductions

I've already purchased mine (I've got a good amount of low-interest credit). A super cute 49 cc 2005 Honda Metropolitan. From everything I've read, they're supposedly very reliable, with ridiculous mileage (around 90-100 mpg), cheap to insure and best of all: A-DOR-A-BUHLS.

Exhibit A:



Exhibit B:



Exhibit C:
(for reference purposes)

Andama!

For a dinner party last night, I decided to make the last bread that my bread machine ruined: Andama. Judging from the amount of unsolicited compliments it received, it's official: Humans rule, Bread Machines drool.

Andama is a delicious easy way to use up that molasses that's been sitting in your cabinet for ages. This time my recipe came wholesale from McCall's Home Baked Breads, c1965, no changes or additions needed.

McCall's Andama

3/4 c boiling water
1/2 c yellow cornmeal
2 tsp salt
3 tsp butter
1/4 c molasses

First, lightly grease a loaf pan.

In the bowl you plan to be mixing in, mix boiling water, cornmeal, butter, molasses and salt. Stir until all melty and combined. Set aside and allow to cool to lukewarm.

1/4 c warm water (105-115 F)
1 pkg or 2 1/4 tsp yeast

Sprinkle yeast over warm water in a bowl or measuring cup. Stir until dissolved. Add to warm molasses mixture.

1 3/4 c sifted all-purpose flour
1 egg

Add flour and egg to yeasty molasses mix. With a wooden spoon or fancy mixer, stir until smooth.

1 c sifted all-purpose flour

Gradually add the rest of the flour while stirring. Continue mixing until dough is thick enough that it no longer sticks to the sides of the bowl.

Place dough in your pre-greased loaf pan, smoothing with a greased spatula (or your clean hands, like I did) so that it fills the pan evenly with the dough touching the sides of the pan Cover and place somewhere warm, like the oven with the light on.

Forget all about your bread for about 1 hour 30 minutes
(Or until double in bulk)

Sprinkle the top of your bread with salt and cornmeal.

Preheat oven to 375F

Bake 50 to 55 minutes, or until bread is solid enough to rap with your knuckles without giving.

Remove from pans immediately and cool on wire racks. Brush tops with butter (I used olive oil).

Eat as you will!

v-day

Crayon Takes a Bath

Crayon hates baths. I think he partially likes being smelly, but it's mostly that he hates being wet and cold. And for such a tiny dog he takes an amazing amount of time to get dry. This is why, in the winter, Crayon doesn't get many baths.

But recently, Crayon has become increasingly pungent. So today, despite the low temperatures and lack of sunshine, Crayon got the full spa treatment.

You can't tell how smelly he is in the above picture, but trust me, it's pretty gnar. His beard is also matted and his mane is showing serious signs of bed-body.

The first step was to brush and comb his mop. Since I estimate his surface area to be 1 square foot, this took all of 3 minutes. And already what a difference!

Step two involved a hair cut. This, he did not enjoy. He kept wriggling and sneezing and trying to make me pet him instead. He helped a little, though. Every time he wriggled loose he shook off all the excess hair clippings, which made it easier for me to get to the rest of him.

And the result: A very handsome dog.

As a reward we went for a walk, before I had to begin the soapy water torture.

But it was all worth it! Because now he smells of lavender and his beard is once again well manicured. In 8 hours when he finally dries off, he'll be the handsomest dog on the block.

Yep. He's a real Ladies' Man.

Nut Teas and Nutella

I've had a pretty bakey week. I didn't make any bread this weekend, because we're still working on that Spiced Honey Wheat Bread (another advantage of making it by hand over using a bread machine : 2 loaves!)

However, I volunteered to host the February board meeting of the Northwest History Network, which meant I had to bake to impress! Or, at least, I wanted to. So I made cookies: LeChuck Chips and Nut Teas. (Every battery in the house was dead, so no pictures. Sorry.)

LeChuck Chips (so named because when I first made them, I was playing a lot of Monkey Island) are basically Chocolate Chip cookies with coconut flakes added, and coconut extract instead of vanilla extract. One could go even further and use coconut oil instead of butter - but I'm much too cheap for that.

I found the recipe for Nut Teas in a cookbook by the Overlook Women's Club from the 1950s - although I can't imagine anyone thinking that "Nut Teas" was a good name for food back then either. The cookbook also didn't think it necessary to give many actual directions beyond a temperature and an ingredient list, but I managed to wing it ok:

Nut Teas
from the Overlook Cookbook ca. 1950
submitted by Mrs. G. A. Baley

1 c firmly packed brown sugar
1 c ground nuts (measure after grinding)
1 unbeaten egg white
pinch salt

Preheat oven to 275F. Mash lumps in brown sugar. Add egg and salt. Add nuts and form into balls. Bake 30 minutes.

What the recipe doesn't tell you is that since these cookies contain no butter and only egg whites, you need to be sure to heavily grease your cookie sheet and be VERY careful removing them after they're done. Make sure to allow them to cool completely on the sheets before chipping them carefully off. Several of mine fell apart because I didn't know this. But they were still delicious, and soon disappeared.

Since I used hazelnuts in the above recipe, and I had a great many of them all ground up and leftover, I decided to attempt to make my own nutella (Recipe found here).

Seen here on my delicious Spiced Honey Wheat Bread (now that batteries have been recharged):

Warning: if you attempt this at home, this recipe is a little too sweet for my taste. I'd recommend using more cocoa powder and less powdered sugar.

Spiced Honey Wheat Bread

The second loaf of bread to be destroyed by my bread machine was a Spiced Honey Wheat Bread. On Monday, I recreated it with my own two hands. According to boyfriend, who had a slice for breakfast this morning, the hand-made version was "sofaking good!"

This one was easier to recreate. I just made a basic honey wheat bread and added spicy goodness. I went out for 3 hours during the first rise, and cooked it at the wrong temperature, but even with all those mistakes, it still turned out way better than the Breadman disaster of 2011.

Here's a recipe to try at home!

Sofaking Good Spiced Honey Wheat Bread

1 c milk
2 tbsp sugar
1 tbsp salt
1/4 c butter
1/2 c honey

Heat milk over medium heat until bubbles form at edges. Remove from heat and add the other goodies, stirring until butter is melted and everything else is dissolved. Set aside and allow to cool to lukewarm.

1 1/2 c warm water (105-115 F)
2 pkg or 4 1/2 tsp yeast

Sprinkle yeast over warm water in the bowl you will be using for mixing. Stir until dissolved. Add warm milk mixture.

2 1/2 c sifted all-purpose flour
2 1/2 c unsifted wheat flour
1 tsp cinnamon
1 tsp cardamom
1/4 tsp ground cloves

Add flour and spices to yeasty milky mix. With a wooden spoon or fancy mixer, stir until smooth.

2 1/2 c unsifted wheat flour

Gradually add the rest of the flour while stirring. Continue mixing until dough is thick enough that it no longer sticks to the sides of the bowl.

Turn dough out onto a lightly floured surface. Cover with bowl and walk away for about 10 minutes. Check your email.

When you come back, knead the dough until smooth and elastic (about 10 minutes)

While you were checking your email, you probably should have been greasing a large bowl. Anyway, do that now. Move your finished dough to the buttery bowl, turning the ball over so that all sides get greasy. Cover with a towel and place someplace warm (I like the oven with the light turned on).

Forget all about your bread for about 1 hour 15 minutes.

When you start thinking about your bread again, prepare 2 breadpans, lightly coating them with butter or veggie oil, or your preferred greasy substance. Also flour a surface and your hands, cause you're about to get real familiar with your dough again.

Turn your dough out onto the floured surface and divide in half. Shape into 2 balls. Walk away for 10 minutes again.

When you come back, shape your balls into loaves:

Stretch dough out to approximately 27 inches long.
Fold into thirds, like a letter.
Pinch ends closed and roll into a cylindrical shape.

(Image from McCall's Home Baked Breads, c1965)
Image j is after 2nd rise, so don't worry if your bread doesn't fit its pan like that just yet.

Once you have both loaves in their pans, again, cover with a towel and leave in that warm spot for another hour and 15 minutes.

Preheat oven to 400F

Bake 40 to 50 minutes, or until bread is solid enough to rap with your knuckles without giving. If you want lighter crust (which I recommend) try to remember to cover the loaves with foil for the last 20 minutes of baking.

Remove from pans immediately and cool on wire racks.

Enjoy with tea and jam. Possibly Nutella, if you have some around.

Chocolate Hazelnut Bread

After my failed experiments with my bread machine, I thought I'd attempt to make all the ruined breads the old fashioned way, just to make sure that it really was the bread machine's fault.

Here, you can see the delicious result!

Of course, this time, the white splotches are a dusting of powdered sugar. And the bread rose beautifully. And, because I mixed in the hazelnuts by hand, they are evenly spread throughout this chocolatey sweet bread.

I had to invent a recipe for this one, because bread machine recipes always require weird amounts and not enough yeast. And after having eaten a slice for breakfast, I can confidently say that my recipe tested very well.

Try it yourself!

Sarielle's Chocolate Hazelnut Explosion Bready Cake Goodness

1/2 c milk
1 c white sugar
1 tsp salt
2 tbsp butter

Heat milk in a small saucepan over medium heat until bubbles form at edges. Remove from heat and stir in sugar, salt and butter until dissolved. Set aside and allow to become lukewarm.

1/2 c warm water (105 to 115 degrees Farenheit)
1 packet or 2 1/4 tsp yeast

Sprinkle yeast over warm water in the bowl you will be using for mixing. Stir until dissolved. Add milk mixture.

4 eggs (beaten)
3 1/2 c all-purpose flour (sifted)
1/2 c baking cocoa

Add eggs, cocoa and 1 1/2 c flour to mixture. Stir until smooth. Add remaining flour and again, stir until smooth. Dough will be batter-like.

Cover with a damp towel and place in a warm spot, such as the oven with the light on, and allow to rise until bubbly (about an hour).

1 c toasted, skinned and chopped hazelnuts

If you are starting with whole hazelnuts, because you're cheap like me or you are lucky enough to have your own hazelnut tree, start by measuring out the hazelnuts into a baking pan. Toast in the oven at 350 degrees F for about 15 to 20 minutes. Skins should fall off with only a little encouragement. Put skinned nuts into a food processor and smash!

When dough is ready, stir with a spoon. Add hazelnuts and stir lightly.

Grease a tube pan or bundt pan. If using a bundt pan, be sure to grease every nook and cranny thoroughly, and then lightly flour it. I used butter, but I've read that vegetable oil painted on with a brush works very well.

Pour dough into pan, cover with a damp cloth and put it in that warm spot again for about another hour and a half, until double in bulk.

Preheat oven to 350F

When your dough has filled up its pan nicely, bake 45 minutes. Remove from oven and allow to cool in pan completely on a wire rack.

Carefully remove from pan (you may need to pry gently with a rubber spatula if you used a fancy bundt pan like I did). Dust lightly with powdered sugar, if desired.

Stand back and admire your work. Send a photo to your grandmother.

Eat! Make sure to share, though. It's a lot of bread.