Me vs. The Bread Machine

For Xmas and my birthday, my mom got me a Breadman breadmaker.

I've been making bread by hand for a while now, so I think that's why she was so inspired. A few years ago, I had found an old Sunbeam Mixer (circa 1970s) at the Goodwill for $15 - one that came with kneading hooks! Just recently, I had gotten into the habit of making some bread every Sunday afternoon, with my own hands. So when I opened up the giant box on Xmas morning, I was a little confused and disappointed.

"Just give it a try," my Mom implored. "At the very least you can use it for mixing the dough and letting it rise."

I have to admit, the thing looks pretty cool. It's got a gajillion settings, a collapsible kneading paddle, so it won't leave a creepy hole in your bread like most machines do, and a fruit and/or nut and/or chocolate chip auto dispenser. Plus, it's awfully shiny. So, I plugged it in and gave it a try.

Round 1: Chocolate Hazelnut Bread.
Me: 0
Breadman: 1




For my first try, I thought I'd make something sweet. I'm a huge Nutella fan, so I thought I'd try out the Chocolate Hazelnut Bread recipe.

Well, the bread didn't rise. The kneading paddle didn't fall like it was supposed to, so my bread had a gaping hole in the bottom. And the nut dispenser just dumped all the hazelnuts into one side of the bread. And, lastly, it had some kind of weird burnt flour shell.

I figured maybe I had mis-measured the liquids, and that maybe my yeast was too old for the machine to work with. So, I went out and bought some fresh bread-machine yeast.

But it was still delicious, at least.


Round 2: Honey Wheat Bread.
Me: 0
Breadman: 2



This time, I needed a recipe that would use milk, but not eggs. I had just bought some local honey, so...

This one was a disaster. The kneading paddle popped out in what appears to be the first kneading cycle. The chickens had a feast that day.

This time, I thought maybe I didn't put the kneading paddle in firmly enough. Next time, I thought, I'll be more careful.


Round 3: Andama.
Me: 0
Breadman: 3

It's hard to see what went wrong in this photo. But the bread rose, and then collapsed in on itself. The sunflower seeds are all on one side of the bread. And the kneading hook popped off again, this time in the second kneading cycle, so it's baked somewhere in the center, but at least it looks relatively bread shaped, this time.

Maybe I used too much yeast. But I sure as heck made sure that kneading paddle was secure.

At least, once again, the bread was still delicious.


In conclusion: Breadmachines, at least this one, appear to require so much babysitting that having a machine do the work for you appears to be pointless. The results are much much better when I do it myself. I've NEVER had my bread not rise or collapse when I'm in charge of it. If I have to check on the machine every 20 minutes to make sure it hasn't screwed itself up, I fail to see where the convenience is.

Whaddya think, should I return the thing, or keep trying to make it work?