Saturday, June 11, 2011

Fuzzy Dinosaur People

A few days ago, Boyfriend told me that our cat, Whiskey, had caught a mouse or a mole or something.  He had found her playing with it's lifeless corpse when he got home from work.  This was, reportedly, very cute.  However, at the time the story was related to me, the poor rodent's remains' whereabouts were unknown.

Today I was futzing around in my backyard and I saw one of my chickens, Nyneave, tossing around a dead mouse.  This was somehow cute.  She was trying in vain to rip bits of it off to snack on.  First she tried to tear off a leg.  Then she pecked at its viscera, trying to get the liver or some spleen.  Her efforts got her nowhere - but she didn't give up.  She lifted up her head, mouse in her beak, opened up her gullet and swallowed it whole.

I couldn't tear my eyes away.

Afterwards, as I was reeling from the insanity of what I had just witnessed, my neighbour threw rose petals over the fence for dessert. 



Monday, June 6, 2011

Challah!


Challah is one of my favourite types of bread.  It makes great toast, french toast, sandwiches, garlic bread, croutons... it pretty much works for all your bready needs.  I've been meaning to try my hand at making it for a while now, but for some reason I thought it was super complicated and the recipe I have calls for saffron.

But today, I got past my mental challah block and dove in!  (Sans saffron)

Challah is actually an amazingly simple bread.  Even the braiding which makes it look so fancy is simple (we all know how to braid, right?)  And with a few birds in the yard, the number of eggs challah requires for its signature deliciousness is no obstacle!

Challah

1/2 c flour
2tbsp sugar
1 1/2 tsp salt
Whatever spice you want, however much you want (I used a healthy pinch of cinnamon)
1 packet or 2 1/4 tsp yeast
1/3 softened butter

Sift together dry ingredients and thoroughly mix in butter.

1 c water (105-115 F)
3 eggs
1 egg white (save yolk for later)
1/2 c flour

Add water to dry ingredients slowly while mixing - either by hand with a wooden spoon or with your electric mixer.   Add eggs and egg white.  While getting mixy, add flour.

More flour!
(about 4 c)

Continue mixing.  Add flour, 1/2 c at a time, until you have a good dough.  

Turn out onto a lightly floured surface and knead until stretchy and smooth.  If you have a mixer with kneading hooks, use that, cause, way easier.  This will take around 10 minutes.

Grease a large bowl.  When dough is kneaded properly, place in greased bowl.  Roll dough around to ensure that all sides get greasy.  Cover and leave in a warm place.

Do something else for 1 hour.

After your hour is up, find your dough and punch it in the face a few times.  Split your dough in half  and flour a flat surface for some braiding fun!

Split half the dough further into thirds.  Roll each third out into a 12" long dough-string.  Braid them together and pinch together the ends.  Place your braided dough onto a greased cookie sheet and repeat this step with the second half of the dough.

1 egg yolk
1 tbsp cold water
Some kind of seeds - poppy, sesame, anise, whatevs. 

Beat the yolk and the cold water together.  Brush on the tops of your braids.  Sprinkle whatever seeds you chose on the top until it looks good to you.

Cover and leave in a warm place.

Walk your dog or something for another hour.

Preheat your oven to 400F.  Bake 20 minutes.  Remove from sheet and allow to cool on wire racks.  Share - or not, depending on how hungry you are.

Monday, May 30, 2011

Yes, you are a creep.

"Hello, Hi," said the man in the dark colored sedan who pulled up along side me, a young woman walking alone along a residential street at midnight on a Sunday, "Not to be a stalker or anything, but I thought you have a wonderful style and I wondered if I could say 'Hi'."

I waved and said "Good-bye."

He drove ahead and turned at the next intersection, and I ran the rest of the way home along, what seemed for the first time, streets that were entirely too well lit, all the while listening for a car following me.  I thought I could hear him driving up and down blocks in my neighborhood.


Sir, whatever your intentions truly were, you were creepy.  You ruined my evening.  Why did you think that was OK?  Was I supposed to be grateful that some dude I've never met thought I looked good in the dark?  Does that line ever work?

Thursday, May 26, 2011

Dog Report IV

Pepper can be periodically seen in this fenced yard, playing with half a ball - and any passersby who might take notice.  She (or he) will run up and down along the fence in a pretend game of chase.  Until I walked up to the fence and looked at her tag, Boyfriend had taken to calling her Bolt.


This dog was getting some gas - and enjoying the process entirely too much.


Whiskey "Dolla Dolla Billz" Burkle may not technically be a dog - but she did used to enjoy playing fetch!  She likes to spend sunny days under our tiny Japanese Maple tree, pouncing on any dog silly enough to trot by.


Sunday, May 22, 2011

Dog Report III : My Backyard

Churchill likes to bark at my chickens and my cat. They don't really pay him any mind, and it makes him feel important.


Zelda, his mother, sometimes plays along. She's a little more realistic about it though.


Both of them move a little too quickly for my camera.




Dog Report II : Kenton Street Fair

Crayon and I went to the Kenton Street Fair today!  I had a delicious Pear, Brie, Mint and Marmalade sandwich with a Hazelnut Italian Soda from Posies, and Crayon met a few dogs.

Xena was slightly more interested in my chips than in meeting Crayon.


Bonita was a little shy. She's still a puppy, and had been recently manhandled by a labrador. Crayon was a perfect gentleman - and I hope he restored her faith in men.


Saturday, May 21, 2011

Dog Report I

A new on-going feature:  Dogs I meet around Portland.

First Report

Crayon "Cash Money" Cortez peed on this tree for 20 minutes.  True story.



Sunshine on a Cloudy Day likes to eat whatever she finds on the ground.



I once found Bodhi a few blocks away and had to walk him back to his home whilst holding his collar and walking Sunshine and Crayon home too.  I think Bodhi weighs more than I do.  Luckily for me, he wanted to go home.


Sage (who lives with Bodhi) just follows me home on her own, for kicks.