I had just spent a lovely evening hanging out at the Lucky Lab with some folks. I left early-ish; I wanted to bike home before it got dark, because I had my tiny dog, Crayon, with me. I like to be extra safe with him, because he's already been hit by a truck once, and I can't afford any more tiny artificial hips.
So, it was a lovely cap to my evening when you ran that red light at NE 7th and Fremont and knocked my bike out from under me. I really appreciated how you yelled 'Are you alright?' without apologizing or even slowing down. It was especially thoughtful of you to not stop and help me pick up my possessions, which your actions had strewn across the intersection. It was thrilling dodging traffic to pick up items after being thrown to the asphalt. The absolute best part was having to bike the last mile home with bent handle bars and numerous deep bruises developing all over my body. Fortunately, whatever maternal instincts I was born with made me grab a hold of my dog as I fell, leaving him unharmed. But it was really nice of you to not be concerned about him either.
I could tell you were probably really cool because not only were you running red lights on a Friday evening next to a park, I could also see the trademark hipster short haircut held back by the unnecessary wide cloth headband. I could tell you were probably really smart, because I could see all these things due to your lack of a helmet.
So, it was a lovely cap to my evening when you ran that red light at NE 7th and Fremont and knocked my bike out from under me. I really appreciated how you yelled 'Are you alright?' without apologizing or even slowing down. It was especially thoughtful of you to not stop and help me pick up my possessions, which your actions had strewn across the intersection. It was thrilling dodging traffic to pick up items after being thrown to the asphalt. The absolute best part was having to bike the last mile home with bent handle bars and numerous deep bruises developing all over my body. Fortunately, whatever maternal instincts I was born with made me grab a hold of my dog as I fell, leaving him unharmed. But it was really nice of you to not be concerned about him either.
I could tell you were probably really cool because not only were you running red lights on a Friday evening next to a park, I could also see the trademark hipster short haircut held back by the unnecessary wide cloth headband. I could tell you were probably really smart, because I could see all these things due to your lack of a helmet.
Seriously bitch, you are the reason why drivers hate bicycles.
srsly, bitch.
ReplyDeletei don't mean to laugh at your misfortune, but your telling is quite humorous. i wrote one like this about a fine gentleman who was apparently offering me a rectal exam at 70 miles an hour on the highway. well done
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